Saturday, November 20, 2004

I'm a big fat liar.

Fiona keeps begging to play Clay on the computer (which I would link to, but Fiona is sitting here right now and she'd see it). It's a Playhouse Disney "game" which consists of Fiona bossing us around and instructing us on how to color in various pictures with clay. The pictures haven't changed in a year and there aren't enough colors to use. The sky always ends up green or the dolphins yellow and it just irritates me to no end. (Because I'm obsessive compulsive and I think that dolphins should not be yellow and the sky shouldn't be that shade of electric blue. It's just wrong.) Anyhow, for the past few (eleven or so) times Fiona's asked to play it, I've said that Clay is "broken" or "closed" or "we sent it back to the movie store" or whatever I think she'll believe at that moment. I'm doing a good job of modeling honesty to our daughter. But man oh man, I sure hate that game.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

So tired....

I love you Amazing Race, I really really do. But why oh why did you make your season premiere last until 11:00 last night? I can't stay awake that late without causing serious and permanent damage. Generally I fall asleep on the couch by 9:30 and am prodded to bed by Andre when he gets annoyed with the snoring and twitching, but last night you made me stay up way past my bedtime. I love your new cast of characters. Well, love to hate actually. Jonathan of the blue hair? HATE! Lady wrestler? HATE! People who are unable to read the word "diesel"? HATE! Your casting director is an evil genius. It's going to be a great season. I'm just a little miffed though that I'm most likely going to fall asleep during Lost tonight since I sacrificed my precious sleepy time hours all for you. Please, please consider the pregnant ladies next time.

Monday, November 15, 2004


Had a twelve-week ultrasound today. The point of the ultrasound was to measure the nuchal translucence or some other similar-sounding mumbo jumbo. I just wanted to see if there was really a baby in there and if it had all its arms and legs and other assorted extremeties. There was indeed a baby in there, just one thank you god, and it was kicking and waving its arms around and opening and closing its mouth. The ultrasound lady and the midwife both said everything looked wonderful and was right on track datewise. Heartrate ranged from 157 to 167 when the baby was more active. Everyone who saw the picture said the baby was very cute, the big liars. Ultrasounds are vaguely creepy and never cute. Anyhow, it was all in all a nice, reassuring appointment.

Fiona, in other news, has fully reclaimed the throne for whiniest child alive. I don't know what to do with her sometimes. She can't just ask for something, she starts screaming and crying and whining instead. I feel like giving her a good shake and then feel like a terrible mother for feeling like that. Sigh. Please tell me this stage passes quickly, because she's driving me nuts.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Pregnancy dreams...

Some women are blessed with the gift of gloriously erotic dreams during pregnancy. Want to know what I dreamed about last night? I went to my 15 year high school reunion in Minneapolis and took a break to go out to the hotel's parking garage where I murdered my brother (who was suffering from syphilitic dementia) with a large hunting knife. In order to escape from the police, who found my brother's decapitated body too quickly, I had to steal an old man's Ford motorcycle. A chase through downtown Minneapolis ensued.

A) I went to school in Arizona.
B) I do not have a brother.
C) Syphilitic dementia? Whoa.
D) Does Ford even make motorcycles?

I'm kind of scared to go back to sleep tonight.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Red vs. Blue

Check out this map to see a breakdown of election results county by county. It's really interesting to see the amount of blue in the "red states." It was so startling to see the maps when the were broken down strictly by electoral college and the sea of red in middle America. This map shows the blue within that red and there's more of it than you'd think.

It's a fifty-fifty proposition

So why does Fiona ALWAYS put her shoes on the wrong feet and her shirt on backwards? I do not understand.

Thursday, November 04, 2004


Four more years. That'll go pretty fast, right? It'll only be two years before we really start seeing campaigning again and can start to hope again. I'm really really trying not to be completely infuriated with the other half of America. I can't fathom you, I really can't, but I'm trying not to be so angry. My middle finger tries to creep up whenever I see one of your Bush-Cheney bumper stickers, but I've been settling for scowls instead. My sister wrote all of you a letter and I think you should read it, she put a lot more thought into it than I've put into this.

I'm trying to think of some positives to this situation and I've come up with this:

1) Bush will have to deal with his own mess in Iraq. No one could possibly blame the democrats for the spiraling quagmire that is the war. I think it will become much, MUCH worse and the possibility of the draft will become even more real. That will definitely raise some questions about whether or not people should have been voting for "moral issues" instead of a national crisis.

Uh, that's really all I can think of. I guess I need some more time to mourn.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


If you do not vote, I will personally come to your house and kick you right in the ass! No excuses!