Feeling a little blue

Not a navy blue or anything, just a little tinge of blue. Back when I first thought about quitting work to stay home with the girls, I envisioned our carefree days of having picnics in the park, trips to the zoo, the special treat of going to the ice cream shop, quiet days at home just snuggling and reading stories while we sipped hot cocoa as it rained outside.

I forgot to plan for things like the stomach flu. For days when one kid pukes in the high chair and while you're cleaning up that one, the other kid pukes on the couch. And then gets mad when you won't give her a tuna sandwich. For nights spent trying to get the baby to sleep only to woken back up again when the four year old pukes all over herself in bed.

I didn't envision a four year old who was still working on recovering from the flu to throw tantrums so violent that they scared me. I never thought I'd be the person who had to pull the car over because my kid had taken off her seatbelt in the car and was screaming in my ear and trying to pull my hair.

I didn't think I'd ever call my husband at work and ask pitifully when he was coming home because I was at my wit's end.

I'm OK. We're OK. Just a little bit blue.