Tuesday, February 14, 2006

But where are all the bonbons?

Amelia has decided that she's 14 years old and doesn't need to nap anymore. She's given up her morning nap and then fights and fights and fights her afternoon nap until she just can't hold out anymore and falls asleep the second I try to nurse her. If I put her in her crib, she sleeps for about half an hour and then is back up and ready to conquer the world. And eat lots of paper.

I think she might be addicted to paper actually, she will speed crawl across the room and cram it into her mouth if she spots any on the floor. Then she'll clamp her little jaws shut if I try to pry it out of her mouth and scream after I retrieve it. I think she might just be weird. Or a Cylon.

Between Fiona's intensive valentine production and paper strewing and Amelia's aggressive paper consumption, I think I might spend at least 80 to 90 percent of the average day picking up paper from the floor and removing it from Amelia's fists and mouth. I wouldn't be that worried about the paper, but I watch too much television and I learned on Grey's Anatomy that you can get mercury poisoning from eating a novel and I've applied that knowledge to my day to day parenting skills and now poor Amelia can't have any fun.

Anyhow, productive things like laundry folding and floor mopping and fun things like leisurely reading my email and blogging have become more difficult due to the paper wars. Oh and cat hair too! Amelia enjoys eating that as well.

I did have a few things I wanted to tell you though, I'd better get them off my chest while A takes her fifteen minute nap.

The Olympics: My favorite person from the Olympics thus far is the dude who stands in the start house with the skiers and tries to pump them up by shouting at them just like Hulk Hogan. Maybe it is Hulk Hogan! He always shouts both their first and last names, as if he doesn't know them very well and he's reading it off some sort of list, "You go Bode Miller! You ride that hill! Go Bode Miller!"

Valentine's Day: We had a terrible blizzard here yesterday and accumulated at least 3/4 of an inch of snow and Fiona's school was cancelled. She was one dejected kid as we walked away from school holding her little bag of Valentines. The party was rescheduled for today, if they can get the streets plowed in time. Three quarters of an inch is dangerous business, people.

Blog Land: There's been way too much upheaval lately with everyone running around and changing their addresses (I'm looking at you Tamara and Kristin) and coming back to blog land after extended absences (Hi Another Drink!) and changing all their templates and having crazy little blog wars and all kinds of nonsense. This is much too much for me to take. I have to go in to my bookmarks list now and change everything around and I don't have time for this. I have baby jaws to pry open and valentines to rescue.

Dick Cheney: I saw this link on Tosie Bonner's journal and had to repost it simply because the Janie's Got a Gun lyrics sound so much like Cheney's Got a Gun that it almost seems like Aerosmith had anticipated this very event. Aerosmith has ESP, you heard it here first.