Thursday, November 10, 2005

Notes to the world:

  • Bones: Please no more maggoty corpses. I can't do maggoty corpses. Dried up bones, OK. Maggots, no.
  • Lost: Please remind Andre of your promise to have "one survivor lost forever" a few more times before the show begins so he doesn't call me a spoiler for speculating which Lostaway gets it. If it's in the previews and every living person on earth knows it but him, it's not a spoiler, right?
  • Dentist office parking lot: Having one end of your parking lot end up in a "no exit, entrance only" onramp is ridiculous since there is no possible way to turn around. I had to exit out the entrance and feared for my life the entire time.
  • Target: I love your dollar section. Santa does too.
  • CD burner: Why aren't you working? Why? I don't understand what your problem is. I have a carefully thought out Christmas list that includes carefully thought out mixes for people and you are ruining Christmas already! It's November and Christmas is ruined.
  • Turkey: I can't wait to eat you.
  • Ex-work: I'm so glad I'm not there and don't have to work during the holidays (even though the CD burner ruined Christmas).
  • Fiona: Whose child are you really? Any kid who doesn't like to eat is no kid of mine.
  • Amelia: How can you possibly be five months old already?
  • Tamara: I can't believe you're going to run a marathon. I don't think I've ever run more than a mile in my entire life and I'm pretty sure I walked part of the way during that mile. And that was during P.E. when I was in eighth grade. You're pretty impressive.
  • Artsy Tartsy candy: Fiona saw you on Unwrapped and wants Santa to bring you to her for Christmas. Where are you?
  • Christmas: I'm SO ahead of you this year.
  • Brain: Stop being so scattered! Maybe you need less caffeine or something.