Things that irritate me because I'm crabby today...

1. The Amazing Race family edition. I'd like to meet the genius who thought that a race to places like the world's largest office chair and an Alabama trailer park would be interesting. Because it's not.
2. Amelia's insistance on grabbing giant pinching handfuls of my breast while she's nursing. I pull off her grabbing crab-like pincher fist and she grabs me again. Over and over and over again.
3. Fiona's complete inability to walk in the house when Amelia is sleeping. I can't tell you how many times she's woken the baby up with her galloping down the hall like a shetland pony made out of lead.
4. Mildew on the ceiling of my bathroom. I can't reach it to clean it and it's gross. I feel like I'm showering in prison.
5. I spent two hours going to two different grocery stores to get ready for a party at our place tomorrow and I still forgot a key ingredient in two dishes. Stupid coconut milk, I'm mad at you.
6. That I cleaned all day and still have more to do.
7. I waS TYPING THIS AND KEPT HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK BY MISTAKE.
8. Amelia was sitting in my lap and managed to create a geyser of poop straight up out of her diaper and into my crotch and then all over the couch and for a second I really wondered if it was me that pooped on the couch since my jeans were all warm and wet with poop.
9. I can't think of anything more, I'm too crabby.