Grandparents
Every summer for a number of years, my sister and I would fly to North Dakota to spend six weeks with my grandparents. We spent the summers riding our garage sale bikes around town, trying to see what daredevil feats we could perform. The big events were attending various Sons of Norway functions and church potlucks with an occasional trip to the Natural History museum or the state capitol building. Have you ever seen someone do the chicken dance onstage dressed in a bunad to live accordion music? I have. More than once. I remember these trips as being more bonding experiences with my sister than with my grandparents. While I know we were very precious to them being their only grandchildren, we weren't really close. I never called my grandmother just to chat and would never in a million years have talked to her about things like boys or periods or anything of a personal nature. Maybe it was the generation, I don't know, but I felt like my grandparents wouldn't really understand how a kid felt. I mean, sure, we watched Days of Our Lives together every day during the summer, but it just didn't seem like enough to really form a close relationship. I don't know what was missing. Time maybe? Spontaneity? We couldn't just run over to Grandma's house whenever we wanted. We couldn't flounce out of our parent's house in a huff and run over to Grandma's house for solace and cookies.
When Andre and I got married, we didn't really consider the grandparent factor when we were trying to figure out where to live. We weren't really thinking about kids, let alone our parents' relationships with those hypothetical kids when we chose to move to Seattle. It was more of a "I hate Los Angeles." "Well I hate Arizona" "Fine, let's move somewhere else then." "How about Seattle?" "Sure, I've never been there, but I'm sure it'd be great," kind of a conversation. Then our unexpected little Fiona appeared a year later and we had the grandparent quandry. Andre's parents live in New Hampshire and mine lived in Arizona. I think all of the grandparents feel like they've really missed out on the first few years of Fiona's life, seeing her usually only twice a year. I know I've certainly missed out on free babysitting.
I really want the girls to have better relationships with their grandparents than I had with mine. I'd like for them to spontaneously say, "Hey, I'm going to call Gramcie to see how she's doing" or "Hey! I got an A++ with my stupendous brain power, I'd love to tell Grandpa about it," rather than having to force them to call the grandparents. And I'd love for them to have a safe place to flounce off to, because wth Fiona in the house, I see a future filled with flouncing.
My mom is moving here this weekend. Until she figures out where she's going to work and where she'd like to live, she's going to be a mere five minutes away. Andre's parents are planning on looking at condos while they're here for Thanksgiving. Suddenly, a wealth of grandparents! I'm so excited by the possibility that Fiona and Amelia will know and appreciate their grandparents better than I did mine. That maybe someday I'll have one of them say, "Hey mom, I'm going over to Gramcie's. We're renting some movies and popping some popcorn. Can I borrow the flying car?" (This is the future we're talking about after all.) Fiona's already called my mom several times to ask her if she'd like to go trick or treating with us. I'm excited for her to share these holidays and fun times with the girls, but also the little moments. The just hanging out time. The don't have to do anything special because we can see you whenever we want time. The building a relationship time.
And the free babysitting.
When Andre and I got married, we didn't really consider the grandparent factor when we were trying to figure out where to live. We weren't really thinking about kids, let alone our parents' relationships with those hypothetical kids when we chose to move to Seattle. It was more of a "I hate Los Angeles." "Well I hate Arizona" "Fine, let's move somewhere else then." "How about Seattle?" "Sure, I've never been there, but I'm sure it'd be great," kind of a conversation. Then our unexpected little Fiona appeared a year later and we had the grandparent quandry. Andre's parents live in New Hampshire and mine lived in Arizona. I think all of the grandparents feel like they've really missed out on the first few years of Fiona's life, seeing her usually only twice a year. I know I've certainly missed out on free babysitting.
I really want the girls to have better relationships with their grandparents than I had with mine. I'd like for them to spontaneously say, "Hey, I'm going to call Gramcie to see how she's doing" or "Hey! I got an A++ with my stupendous brain power, I'd love to tell Grandpa about it," rather than having to force them to call the grandparents. And I'd love for them to have a safe place to flounce off to, because wth Fiona in the house, I see a future filled with flouncing.
My mom is moving here this weekend. Until she figures out where she's going to work and where she'd like to live, she's going to be a mere five minutes away. Andre's parents are planning on looking at condos while they're here for Thanksgiving. Suddenly, a wealth of grandparents! I'm so excited by the possibility that Fiona and Amelia will know and appreciate their grandparents better than I did mine. That maybe someday I'll have one of them say, "Hey mom, I'm going over to Gramcie's. We're renting some movies and popping some popcorn. Can I borrow the flying car?" (This is the future we're talking about after all.) Fiona's already called my mom several times to ask her if she'd like to go trick or treating with us. I'm excited for her to share these holidays and fun times with the girls, but also the little moments. The just hanging out time. The don't have to do anything special because we can see you whenever we want time. The building a relationship time.
And the free babysitting.
<< Home