Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It's Nothing. (Right?)

I'm not the kind of person that runs to the doctor for every little thing. My mom's philosophy on doctor visits was that as long as you weren't bleeding copiously from the head, you were probably going to be OK. Generally, I'm pretty much the same way with the girls. Fiona went to the emergency room once when she had a fever of 105, but other than that I realize that most things just take care of themselves. Colds, viruses, the croup, stomach problems, as long as there's no blood from the head, we'll just tuck you in on the couch and you get to watch more TV than usual.

About a week and a half ago, I noticed a lump in Amelia's cheek. It's not big; you can't see it from the outside really. It's hard to describe how it feels, I'm pretty sure "extra meaty" is not the precise medical term. There's a little discoloration, almost a bruise, but more like some spider veins. I googled myself into a complete mess. Through the magic of the internet, I determined that it was either mumps, a nest of baby spiders, or the C word. I immediately made a doctor's appointment, then decided I couldn't feel it as much and canceled it. Then I definitely could feel it and made another appointment

I brought her in hoping that the doctor would say, "Oh silly woman, that's just X. Lots of babies get X and it just goes away in a day or two." Instead I got, "Hmm. I'm not sure what this could be. Let me go get the chief pediatrician." And the chief pediatrician said, "Hmmm. I'm not sure what this is. It could be a fatty deposit from a trauma or it could be a hemangioma (cluster of small blood vessels) or it could be something else. Wait a week or two and see if it gets any bigger and bring her back in if it does. But don't fret about it."

Don't worry. Brilliant advice. How could I not worry? I mean, we've pretty clearly ruled out the nest of baby spiders, but otherwise I have no answers. I keep telling myself it's probably nothing. But then my brain always adds the "Right?" after that. It's nothing to worry about. (Right?) They would have done more tests right away if they were worried. (Right?) It'll go away on its own. (Right?) It's not getting bigger. (Right?)

No really, it's nothing.

(Right?)