20 years ago
Because I'm at a loss, I thought I'd dip back into the old diary again. Mothers of young girls, please remember this diary entry when your daughter is fourteen and you're completely at wit's end with her. I don't remember feeling this miserable in my own skin, so it's good that I have the written proof. I do remember that junior high sucked. In fact, if I ever had a magical genie offer to transport me back in time, junior high would be at the very bottom of the visit list. In fact, I would probably pay that genie to keep me as far away from that time as possible. In fact, I feel like I need to start saving up money right now in order to have a fund for any time travel related genie bribing just so there is no possible way I ever have to even think about junior high again. To the diary:
July 1, 1987
I'm ugly. I wish I could lose weight, but even then I'll never be really pretty. If I could just look like Jami or someone else who's really nice looking I would be happy. But no there's just ugly old me in my ugly old outdated clothes . . . I am so scared about being a freshman, I mean everybody says it will be fine and dandy but I'm really the type of person people pick on, you know - fat + ugly + smart. That's three strikes and you're out. Maybe I'm not the neatest person but now (and I have this in writing) I will lose weight and find a hairstyle that's a teeny bit complimentary of my ugly face. At least I have some OK friends. If they'll still want me I'm so babyish.
Wow, now there was some powerful self loathing brought about by junior high trials and tribulations - I don't think the glasses and braces combination helped much either. I feel like I need to say a little thank you prayer every day that I grew out of this stage. While I have some post-baby body issues, I've never felt that terrible about myself again. Unfortunately, I never have found that perfectly complimentary hairstyle.
July 1, 1987
I'm ugly. I wish I could lose weight, but even then I'll never be really pretty. If I could just look like Jami or someone else who's really nice looking I would be happy. But no there's just ugly old me in my ugly old outdated clothes . . . I am so scared about being a freshman, I mean everybody says it will be fine and dandy but I'm really the type of person people pick on, you know - fat + ugly + smart. That's three strikes and you're out. Maybe I'm not the neatest person but now (and I have this in writing) I will lose weight and find a hairstyle that's a teeny bit complimentary of my ugly face. At least I have some OK friends. If they'll still want me I'm so babyish.
Wow, now there was some powerful self loathing brought about by junior high trials and tribulations - I don't think the glasses and braces combination helped much either. I feel like I need to say a little thank you prayer every day that I grew out of this stage. While I have some post-baby body issues, I've never felt that terrible about myself again. Unfortunately, I never have found that perfectly complimentary hairstyle.
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