Dear Roomba,

I'd like to invite you to become a member of our family. I just know you'd like it here. We have two cats who make lots of hair for you to gobble up and a child who tracks in lots of dirt. I know you wouldn't want to be bored and we will challenge you with multiple surfaces, stairs, and furniture. I promise to clean your little brushes, empty your three-times-larger dustbin, and provide a safe place for your home base recharging unit. I'll protect you from meddlesome preschoolers and hostile housepets. All I ask is your promise that I'll never, ever have to vacuum again.

Signed,
The laziest woman on earth.